There’s something about wearing that identity of the busy self-employed “success”. It becomes an external facade you have to keep up. Everyone around you says “there they go, that high flyer, I don’t know how she fits it all in…” and so that to you means you have no room to drop a ball. Because what would your identity be then? The stressed out business owner who’s doing too much and isn’t making it work? No thanks…
As a result, it can be all too easy to fall into the trap of saying yes to everything that comes your way, which can lead to burnout, stress, and overwhelm. It means that dream of creating a business where you had freedom, independence and fulfilment, seems more like a distance memory than a vision for the future.
Learning how to say no is a crucial skill that can help you protect your time, energy, and resources and make that dream a reality again. But how can you actually start to do it?? I am world class at saying no and meaning it. Here’s a few tips I have up my sleeve for making the whole process seem easier…
1. Start with a clear understanding of your priorities
Before you can say no, you need to know what you want to say yes to. Take some time to reflect on your goals, values, and priorities, both in your personal and professional life. Once you have a clear sense of what’s important to you, it’s easier to prioritize your time and say no to requests that don’t align with your values or goals. It’s that old chestnut I always talk about of paying attention to your intrinsic motivations and letting go of the external ones.
2. Understand saying no, isn’t disrespectful or rude.
Saying no doesn’t mean being rude, dismissive, or insensitive. Instead, you can say no with empathy and respect, acknowledging the other person’s request and explaining your reasons for declining. For example, you can say something like, “I appreciate your offer, but I’m afraid I won’t be able to commit to that right now because I have other priorities that require my attention.” Far too many of us think when someone invites us to a social event, no matter how much we don’t want to go, we’re obliged to attend because we’ve been taught it’s rude not to. Incorrect. It’s far worse to turn up and fall asleep in the corner because you were really too worn out to go…
3. Offer an alternative solution or compromise
If you want to maintain a positive relationship with the person making the request, you can offer an alternative solution or compromise that meets both of your needs. For example, you can say, “I’m not able to take on that project right now, but I know someone who might be a good fit. Would you like me to connect you with them?” This is a great way to stay helpful, feel like you’ve contributed to the task but still keep your plate clear. And the person who’s asked will probably be grateful for the referral.
4. Set clear boundaries and stick to them
To avoid feeling guilty or pressured into saying yes, it’s important to set clear boundaries and stick to them. For example, you can establish a policy of not checking emails after a certain time, or not working on weekends, and communicate these boundaries clearly to your colleagues or family members. People will appreciate the fact that when you ARE present in a given sphere, you’ll be giving it your full attention, knowing everything has a place for attention. And of course, experiment – find out what “time zones” work for you when it comes to work and personal time.
5. Learn to prioritize your time and delegate tasks
Learning how to prioritize your time and delegate tasks can also help you say no more effectively. Identify the tasks that only you can do and delegate the rest to others who have the necessary skills and experience. This not only frees up your time and energy but also helps others develop their skills and contribute to the team. Delegation is one of the things most entrepreneurs struggle with the most. Why? Because we’re OBSESSED with creating our own vision. We can’t bare the thought of someone else getting involved and it not being executed EXACTLY how we want it. But if you can’t make room for other people to execute things for you, you’ll be stagnant. Forever. Because there are not enough hours in the day fro you to do it all yourself. And besides, you never know what might turn out to be a great idea or input you hadn’t thought of if you were doing everything yourself…
When it comes to trying to run a business and staying on top of all the other things you want to achieve, being able to say “no” is going to be the thing that makes the difference between success and failure. So don’t become a yes-man all the time. Learn to say no. Find success. Simples. And if you want some more advice on the areas you need to work on to achieve top-notch performance in your business and personal life, go check out the Super Human Scorecard and get practical tips FOR FREE, TODAY, that you can start working on to unlock your next level of potential. Do Better.