As most of you will know if you’ve ever listened to any of the interviews I’ve done about my own triathlon journey (maybe start with this one or indeed this one from my GB sponsor the Aesthetic Entrepreneurs), then you’ll know that the primary reason I started was to try and stop the student lifestyle manifesting as body fat in my first year at uni. Little did I know that dipping my toe into the world of running would lead me to where I am today! I started out thinking “I need to make sure I don’t get one of those beer guts…” and running seemed like a smart way to burn calories. Of course, I know now that diet was the biggest thing in my way and that actually, the benefits I was getting from exercise weren’t about that really, but it probably helped me to shape up a bit at least.
Here we are, over a decade later and I’m a lot more comfortable in my own skin. Yes, I’ve physically shaped up a bit, but mentally, there’s been the biggest shift.
I’ve always been underestimated. Whether it was by other boys in my karate class that thought I wouldn’t fight well because I’m a girl, or by other athletes on the age group scene, belittling me because of my size – and yes, that still happens!! One memorable moment was at the start line of Ironman Wales.
“So, have you got a time in mind then…?”
“Well I think I’d like to get round in under 13 hours.”
“Ha!! Good luck with that” said the man who’d squeezed his over-sized beer gut into a few layers of lycra and neoprene, as he looked me up and down. I knew at that very moment I’d do under 13 hours or die trying.
Another in transition at a local race where I overheard two guys laughing and pointing at my bike exclaiming “It’s tiny! It isn’t going to go anywhere very fast is it?!” Cue me winning the women’s race and beating both of those men around the course too…
It’s a red rag to a bull for anyone to comment on how my physical form will somehow hinder me. I recognise that I’ll never be a star of the NBA – and I’m cool with that. But I also recognise how much of a complex it’s given me for people to approach me like that.
When I first started out in the running game, I wanted to get lean and good looking. But what I quickly realised was, what I actually wanted to do was sock it to all the people who said I wouldn’t be able to achieve stuff because I was small, or because I was a girl. So I needed to be fast, strong and healthy. I needed to eat right, train well and surround myself with others who wanted to do the same. That’s where my journey into performance coaching really began, because that’s where I started really studying what could give people the edge alongside the obvious stuff; as a 5ft nothing, what would guarantee I would be able to trample all over the doubters if I couldn’t compete in stride length and physical strength? The other stuff; the little things.
Now and again, we all revert back to our old insecurities and being more and more absorbed into the world of triathlon, I do sometimes have the odd pang of anxiety about how I look next to other athletes. I stand there as the happy waving potato, surrounded by willowy athletic types and women of the amazon, all there looking like they mean business. But as soon as the race gets going, I know that the best way to overcome that anxiety and insecurity is to prove not to everyone else, but to mySELF, what my body can achieve.
For me, my competitive fire often stems from the fact I feel the need to prove the world that I may be small, but I am also the “tiny terror”, capable of striking fear into the hearts of men…and I’m cool with that. It makes me great at what I do. But only because I understand where that fire comes from. And I use it wisely. And even now, I have to keep on top of it. I have to understand when that needs to be applied and when I need to get back in my box. But it’s good to be able to take an insecurity and flip it, use it and apply it.
I often joke about how I don’t look like other athletes. And it’s true. But that’s what gives me the passion for what I do. Because I believe it shows the importance of all that other stuff I teach as a performance coach. Because it demonstrates that success is not about predetermined gifts or natural talent. It’s not about how you compare to others. It’s about understanding what makes you tick and understanding how to really unlock that best possible version of yourself. It’s about digging out the best bits of you, the bits you’ll never really discover until you properly explore your insecurities and how much the little things can really add up to becoming the big things that give you the edge.
If you want to start exploring how the little things could help you and get some free tips on improving them today, head over to the Super Human scorecard and get started today.