I’ve just launched episode 2 of the Do Better podcast – check out the latest episodes here https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/do-better/id1597628977 – and I’ve been sharing the blast of late night inspiration I had about the body being the “Ultimate Self Build”. Essentially, think of all the time you put into building your own speed machine and all the Saturdays you spend hunched over bit of carbon, steel and whatever else, covered in a nice dirt and oil slick. Now think about whether you put in the same amount of effort into maintaining your SELF. Yeah, uh huh, probably a big deficit right? Because the self-build you have in the garage, is your pride and joy.
Big news for you buddy – if you’re not putting the same amount of effort into yourself, you ain’t going to have much time to enjoy that self-build when you finish it…
It got me thinking about other stuff we spend so much time on. It’s almost like we WANT to make excuses for NOT spending time on ourselves. And I don’t even mean “fluffy” time; I don’t mean time in a mood-lit bath with some scented candles and a romcom (which of course is never something I would do…ahem…). I mean how much time do you put into food prep, stretching, general body and health maintenance? How often is your food prep time or your exercise time or your sleep time the time of day that gets cut to squeeze in an extra client, squeeze in a pint with the boys or just spend one more hour with Netflix on the sofa even?? Yet there’s some things you wouldn’t DREAM of cutting short – usually the same things you’re sacrificing your own self-improvement time for!
It doesn’t make sense to me. As discussed, I’m a 9/10 on the selfish scale. If you ask me to do something after hours, the answer is no. Likewise, if you ask me to come over and hang out but I’ve got training to do, the answer is going to be a firm no. Which to some people is odd. But think about it logically.
Nobody cares about your hopes and dreams. Soz. Legit, nobody cares. If you don’t achieve your dreams, you’re the only one who’s going to be left hurting about it. That’s why others will never understand when you start saying “I can’t, I’m working on myself then.” Why do you care? There’s that whole philosophical debate about whether you can ever be truly selfless – my view? You can’t. But that doesn’t matter! I love making other people happy. I love doing nice things for others. Because it makes me feel good! Nothing wrong with that. But equally, I know when to say no. I also know that I prioritise my own dreams above all else. Now there are different goals and ambitions I have through my business life, my personal life, my triathlon life, my dental career, so learning to say no, doesn’t mean I’m always sacking everyone off so I can go out on my bike (although, this is not an uncommon story…). It means I’m actively thinking about what brings me closer to my goals. All. The time. We all have 24 hours in a day. How we use those hours is our own choice. Personally, I’ve got big things on the agenda, so I better be maximising the time I have – plus I love sleep so that eats up about 8 hours of a day. But the long and short of it is, I want to spend as much time as possible doing what makes me happy! Some days, that means turning down friends. Some days, it does mean I can’t get a training session done. Some days it means saying no to a client. It depends on what’s on the menu for that day and what priorities are.
When you get on a plane, they always tell you to secure your own oxygen mask before helping others. Why? Because there’s no point you dying trying to secure someone else’s mask, because you probably won’t save them either. If everyone looks after their core FIRST, they’d be better able to help others. It doesn’t mean being a horrible self-centred narcissist. It means learning that in order to maximise the output when helping others, being able to optimise the benefits to other people, you need to be the best version of yourself first. It’s a really important value we need to start teaching ourselves and others around us. There is nothing wrong with prioritising your own dreams. Of course, that doesn’t mean trampling over others to get there, it means a careful and considered approach to what’s important to you.
So think about it:
1. Secure your own mask first before helping others – because you do a much better job when you’re well than when you’re starved of oxygen.
2. Spend as much time fine tuning yourself as you do fine tuning your bike.