It’s been an eventful 24 hours. Noodlearms decided he’s had enough of cycling and threw himself off his bike going around a greasy corner at 30mph. Eight hours, fifteen X-rays, 1 CT scan and a smattering of road rash cleaning later we made it back to the ranch and in to bed…by 3:30am 😴 As an eight hours a night kinda gal, it wasn’t my ideal recovery. I had tonnes of pent up energy which all suddenly melted away by 7am and I was left stamping my feet in a tantrum after agreeing the best thing to do was to cancel hill reps and perhaps make it out the door for a gentle stumble with the dog.
This article is not about LITERALLY falling off the wagon.
But I start the story by setting the scene because things have gone a little AWOL quite spectacularly; one minute I’m driving along pumping out some AC⚡️DC, getting all excited about my turbo session and the next, I’m rushing back home to scrape my SO off the tarmac and thinking about how I’m going to keep my back in one piece after hanging around in a sterile cubicle for the night. Today, I’m tired. It’s been hard to stick to my usual nutrition strategy and I can’t read the signals my body is sending out, because they’re all being muffled by the sound of “I’m incredibly tired and stressed”.
And that happens in life, to us all. The circumstances will be wildly different from person to person, but we all know, shit happens. And when shit happens, the bits that have been going well – the mindful eating, the well executed training plan, the organised diary – spectacularly seem to follow suit. It’s like you build this massive jenga block pile and someone removes the base brick so they all come tumbling down. Sound familiar?
But why is that? And what do we do about it?
The simple fact is that in hard times, we revert to survival mode. What does the body do when it’s trying to survive?
- Recover – sleep, avoid hard tasks that require mental exertion in favour of recuperating and “catching up” on sleep.
- Eat – consume calories! In hard times, the body is designed to seek out high calorie foods to help us recover and prepare us for the next storm, because a stress response means we might be using up some of our carefully stored reserves.
What that means for us is the symptoms we see of lethargy, the inability to get off the sofa in favour of watching Netflix. Also that set of cravings for fatty, sugary processed foods, which never quite seem to satisfy the itch of not-quite-hunger-not-quite-boredom. We get irritable and feel we need more comfort from our foods and environment and getting out there and exercising or preparing a nice salad is the OPPOSITE of what we want.
And that’s okay. So far today, I’ve fallen asleep on the dog bed and made myself a massive microwave mug brownie and hoovered up the Haribo from the latest Wiggle parcel. Not the lovely wholesome Friday I had planned. But it’s what I needed right now.
The truth is, we can’t fight these survival instincts, they’re too strong. What we have to do is work with them, understand them, try and listen to them and to some extent obey. When you feel tired and overwhelmed, it’s time to let go and cut yourself a little slack. But try and spend some time tuning in to your body again. Don’t let yourself be completely derailed.
The tendency is when things don’t quite pan out, to give up everything completely and say “Well I’ve fucked it now, I may as well just do what I like because I have no hope.” This kind of attitude is what separates failure and success. Getting it wrong, particularly when outside factors are at play, is normal. Get over it. Handle it. Take a nap, eat the KitKat, have the beer. But know that this serves a purpose; to rectify your course. It’s not a failure, it’s a part of the journey. We have to be flexible. When shit hits the fan and we allow ourselves to do what our body is trying to – SURVIVE – we allow ourselves the essential breathing space we need at that time. The trick is knowing how to come back from that.
Personally, I’ve worked hard – and am still working hard – on improving my relationship with food and my mindset towards it. That’s part of the reason I ended up doing the job I do. What that means is, every time I have a bit of a bad day and things don’t quite pan out, I handle it better, but I also don’t let it get the better of me. Having a slice of cake I hadn’t planned or a day where I just didn’t have time to get the training done is now just part of life. It doesn’t matter. I’m going to repeat that; making a mistake DOESN’T MATTER. I know that my body will soon tell me when it’s ready to get back to the normal, healthy life we lead. It just needs time to adjust, survive and recalibrate.
So perhaps it shouldn’t be called “falling off the wagon”. Because you don’t have to chase after it and leap back on. Perhaps it should be called “taking the scenic route”. After all, you’re still on the same journey, you’re just having a different perspective on it right? So when it all feels a bit tough and suddenly you’re back into survival mode, don’t think about all the things you’re doing wrong:
- Listen to what your body is trying to tell you.
- Allow yourself the breathing space you need, but don’t wallow.
- Know that this is all just part of the process and go back to that big ol’ plan you made and reacquaint yourself with it to get you back on the main highway…
Now if anyone needs me, I’m off in search of bacon…