Society sends us confusing messages. Some will tell us that the weekend should ABSOLUTELY NOT involve ANY work at all and if you’re working on a Saturday you’re CLEARLY a workaholic. But equally, the 24/7 on call lifestyle has been glamorised and we often see in city jobs that those who put in the most hours, on the fewest hours of sleep and put in the smallest number of boundaries are those that are promoted and successful in the “dog eat dog” business world.
But who’s right?
Well I don’t think any of them are.
The Workaholic
The workaholic will likely be shut away in their home office for as many hours as they are shut away in their actual office – in this day and age, probably more, where we are all blurring the lines between work and home life. No hours are off limits. Contactable at pretty much any hour of the day and justifies picking up their phone in the middle of family film time because “it’s important, it’s work”. They focus on the success their input now, will bring them in the future. They are focused on the long term results. Delayed gratification is their default status.
Unfortunately for the workaholic, while success at work may be their focus and granted, their focus and determination is likely to pay off, they are often acutely unaware of the consequences of their ruthless attention to work. Or actually, they may be aware of it, but burying their head in the sand because it’s too painful to acknowledge…
The workaholic, contrary to their own frame of belief, will often miss out on the future they are sowing seeds for and may never actually get to harvest their carefully curated crop. Why? Burnout, stress, exhaustion, heck even high blood pressure, heart attacks and panic attacks leading to a complete lack of physical ability to actually enjoy the life they’ve tried to carve out for themselves.
While certain circles will paint a picture of life as a workaholic being ESSENTIAL to success, they fail to see the bigger picture. Workaholics forget that what enables them to both focus, execute and plan is THEMSELF. They also fail to acknowledge that the life they so desperately crave in the future, is only available to them if they survive that long in good enough health to enjoy it! I’ve seen too many times, workaholics come to me on the brink of a complete breakdown, who just don’t know how to get back to feeling human again. Deep down, they are often massively empathetic and caring people who don’t want to let others down and outside of work, will also often over-commit to make others happy. They are not money-hungry, selfish characters, they are just 100% focused on the pursuit of happiness – but it usually revolves around what everyone else wants! They put pressure on themselves to make sure THEY are the one responsible for everyone else’s happiness. But exactly the opposite happens. They burnout and are suddenly unable to fulfil all the wishes of others. And everyone loses their freedom and happiness as a result.
The Shirkaholic
The shirkaholic is often “living for the weekend”. They are not a lazy person, but they like routine, particularly the routine of getting to Friday, putting their feet up and letting their cares melt away, usually into a glass of wine (or two…or three…). The shirkaholic usually has tonnes of dreams and spends their weekends using phrases like “wouldn’t it be nice if…” “in the future I’m going to…”
The shirkaholic usually also knows what they COULD do to achieve their goals. But they don’t make a plan. They say that organised fun isn’t fun at all, but what they mean is something different entirely. What they mean is “I cannot commit to planning as I am worried I will fail.” “I cannot commit to my dream because I know it will be difficult to achieve it.”
The shirkaholic is often terrified of the consequences of failure. They are terrified of leaving their comfort zone. Although they acknowledge there are things they could do or try to move forward and get out of the place they are in and move toward what they truly want, they also acknowledge that they are scared of the pain it might involve in getting out of that comfortable place. So the shirkaholic chooses to dream instead of plan.
The shirkaholic will never reach their full potential. They will never know what they are truly capable of. Because the shirkaholic is too scared to commit and to try, because they are frightened of failure.
Spoiler alert…
Yeah, a lot of us are not an either or. But we will usually have more traits of one of these characters than the other. And sometimes, we could have either mindset holding us back in different spheres of our lives. The trick is, identifying at any given moment, which mindset we are placing ourselves in.
You see, neither of these characters is going to achieve what they really want. Because neither has paced themselves properly. Neither has really acknowledged what is important in the short term AND the long term. One is obsessed with pain and believes that pain alone brings success and the other is too scared of pain to leave their comfort zone.
We all need to be a little more grayscale. Sometimes we will need to think “what would the workaholic do?” and sometimes it will be the shirkaholic we will need to channel.
The trick is, to know when we need to rest, when we need to regroup and be able to focus on the bigger picture while also acknowledging how much pain is too much in the short term and what we want to enjoy along the way.
The world will tell you what you want to hear, because often, that’s all your ears are listening for. But if you’re identifying with the workaholic or the shirkaholic right now, maybe it’s time to take a long hard look at what you REALLY want and decide whether your goalsetting and planning is up to the job of achieving it. And if not, why not?
If you want to get started and find out exactly which areas of your foundation are holding you back, then jump into the scorecard now and start working on becoming a better, more balanced super human today. This is the ONLY way you will ever achieve your true potential. GO.