“It’s just so hard, I can’t get rid of all the treats in the house because Little Jonnie won’t have any then. It’s not fair that he doesn’t get them so I can’t just not buy them.”
It’s an argument I roll my eyes at repeatedly when I hear it. I want to reach through the phone and just shake the person on the other end. Why? Because obviously it’s a complete load of BS.
I get it, you’re all going to be hating on me because “you don’t understand, you’re not a parent”. You’re right, I’m not. Because I actively made a choice not to be. I love my life as it is and Noodlearms and I have made a conscious decision not to churn out any sprogs, because, well we’re just too selfish. I mean there’s a whole host of other more deep political and social reasons, but the major thing relevant to this conversation is that we have CHOSEN not to have kids.
Children are a choice, not a necessity.
We are lucky enough to live in a society where we have access to free contraception, abortion and essentially CHOICE. Now this is not necessarily true across the world, but in the modern world of the UK, 99% of the things we do are a choice. That includes starting a family. And yet, when people start talking to me about why it’s been so difficult to make healthy choices, to lose weight, to get fit, to build a routine and a lifestyle that suits them, they talk about their children as a curse that’s been bestowed upon them without any input from themselves.
As the child of divorced parents, I also understand than often when you have children, you don’t necessarily see life as it turned out. You envisage it as a safe family unit and sometimes, it ends up with you at the centre of a circus trick trying to build your empire, juggle co-parenting and a hectic childcare schedule along with trying to fulfil your own needs.
So while I don’t have kids, I get it. It doesn’t work out how you planned it and it often brings a lot of unexpected surprises with it.
But it’s still a choice…
Same as always, it’s a choice about priorities.
Now usually, people have children and want them to be the centre of their universe – good for you! But what you have to then acknowledge, is that if children are your number one priority, then everything else is secondary. That means whatever else you want to do, it will have to come second. And that’s cool.
But equally…controversial statement…your kids don’t have to come first…
Your children can live a totally fulfilled life without you having to focus your entire being around it. In fact, the older they get, the more independent they become. The thing about parenting is, your job is to help them navigate the world and learn for themselves. So more than anything, what they need from you is a role model, someone to show you the ropes.
The number one reason parents end up getting fat and not being able to lose that is because they continue to ignore themselves and focus solely on their kids. But you can’t parent your kids if you’ve no energy, you’re irritable and suffering from a load of horrible preventable health conditions that come with not looking after yourself. So you’re doing nobody any favours here.
Now, back to that “kids treat tin”…
You know what I’m talking about. The kids get “special snacks”. Weird synthetic treats aimed at children with brightly coloured wrappers, devoid of nutrients but guaranteed to make kiddies smile. But they’ll also coincidentally often be filled with those toffee crisps you haven’t had since you were 10, that you now remember are completely delicious…
You don’t want those around because they’re not helping you. So why not get rid of the treat tin and instead, make treats into just that? An occasion to be enjoyed together, a real treat! Head out on the weekend for a big ice cream sundae to enjoy together, or a nice Saturday pancakes and syrup breakfast. The truth is, we are all tied to the preconception that we must have access to the food that makes us smile, ALL OF THE TIME. But is it a treat if it’s in our lunchbox every day? Or are we just teaching our children that chocolate is an essential part of lunch and therefor setting them up for the same struggles we’ve had…?
The truth is, we make a lot of excuses for not eating well, because of our kids. But their minds are so much more malleable than ours. Under the age of one, we have total control over how we shape our children’s taste buds essentially. If we overload them with sugar, guess what they crave later on…
But likewise, they can also change. It might be hard, but eventually they’ll get used to the idea of not having the sugary snacks every day. And we’ll be able to focus on our own weight loss and health goals by enjoying a good balanced diet and encouraging our kids to do the same. We’re raising healthier children who won’t have the same issues as us.
I’m not saying nobody can ever have treats. What I’m saying is, instead of using our children as the excuse for not living the healthy lifestyle we want, maybe we should be bringing them along for the ride and teaching them now, how to lead a healthier life in the future…?
And if you want to get started on making life better today, go ahead and take the Super Human Scorecard, with FREE tips and advice to start making changes today!