“How did it go?”
“Well I’m alive.”
“Not that great then?”
“Well I came 2nd in cat, but it was a crappy race.”
“But you came second! That’s a great result!”
It was like Valencia all over again. I’ve been at Box End competing over the weekend. It was originally a trip I booked to be a World Champs qualifier for 2023, but after an unexpected PQ slot came my way after my efforts in Canada, this race was supposed to be all about fun and experience. Instead, it turned out to be a swim through what I can only describe as barbed wire pond-weed in a portaloo-smelling lake surrounded by massive white blocks and 174 other thrashing athletes, a smashing and super fast bike course (which I’ll admit I loved), followed by some sort of hideous off-camber, off-road run, during which my delicate ankles wobbled about like a Bambi on ice and an alien insect flew into my right eye blinding me for the second half. Not my favourite. I stomped through the finish line, sheepishly accepted the medal I wasn’t entirely sure I deserved, rejected the chemical-laden caffeine “recovery drink” being offered and shuffled off to my car clutching two bottles of “eco water”.
I’ll admit I was surprised to see a second place finish, but I shrugged it off as a good result and went back to my thoughts about the race itself. I hadn’t enjoyed it – other than the part on two wheels. I hadn’t been able to deliver what I wanted. Some of that was beyond my control, some of it was just me being a bit shit on the day – but then again, I was experimenting with strategy and wasn’t expecting anything from myself, so you get out what you put in right?
But the worst part about it all – and I knew right away this would be the worst part, even after the barbed wire pond weed starting slashing at my beautiful neoprene suit – was having to deal with the smoke everyone would inevitably blow up my arse.
Because everyone else’s perspective is that racing is there for trophies and winning. And it is. I’ve never been the namby pamby person that said “it’s the taking part that counts”, because I hate that phrase. Maybe I hate it because growing up, although participation was always a good thing, my dad’s competitive nature meant if you didn’t win, you better go back and find out how to next time. And if you did win, how would you win by MORE next time…
But over time I’ve realise WHY people make such a fuss about the taking part. Obviously I like the trophy hunting. But this race proved something else to me. My favourite and what I would deem my most successful races this year, have been the ones where I’ve finished in minor standings; Montreal, 14th, Munich, 11th, Eton, 6th. No results to write home about. And when I’ve told people, some have looked at me as if to question my pride. But it’s because the result doesn’t matter to me. And it’s taken me a long time to realise that. While I continue to strive to do better and better, I actually LOVE the process. I LOVE swim, bike, run. I LOVE how hard it is to wake up at 5am and hit the gym. I LOVE the feeling of a cold and wet winter run in the dark on a Thursday evening. I LOVE a rough sea swim on a stormy Sunday morning. I LOVE IT ALL. And I love being surrounded by the atmosphere of competition and success. I love a toe-to-toe battle and the debrief afterward. And of course, I love downing litres of chocolate milk after my exertions as well.
For so many people, when they set a goal, the entire success of that goal revolves around what other people think of it. It revolves around how they want to manipulate other people’s opinion of them. What I’ve realised over the past couple of years, is that that’s not what’s important to me. While I love the winning and the trophies – and that’s what I thought I did sport for – I love far more everything else about it. I love the PROCESS. The thing is, when you set out to achieve something, whatever that is, whatever your definition of success is, you need to remember two things:
- Your goal has to be about YOU. Not about what it will make others think of you. Because that feeling will be fleeting, it will leave you empty and you will realise that wasn’t actually what you thought success should feel like. Because it isn’t really your definition of success at all.
- You have to love the PROCESS. You have to fall in love with the struggle, the hard stuff as well as the easy stuff, the failure as well as the wins. You have to learn to adore the continuous rise and fall of your journey and know that it will lead you slowly toward whatever your goal is.
When you are able to do those two things, you will feel more fulfilled, more passionate, less stressed, less overwhelmed and more free than you’ve felt before.
Try it…
And if you’re looking for somewhere to start and to work out what your next steps in self-mastery should be, head over to the Super Human scorecard and start getting hints and tips on how to change your life for the better, TODAY.